No, seriously, man. [Deep breath, deep breath, maybe not so deep breath and a few hysterical giggles.] I am freaking the fuck out-- Qubit...please. I need you. Please pick up. pickuppickuppickup. Hermann's-- He--
Hermann teleported himself to GERMANY and he can't get back. I didn't know what else to do-- Look, whatever you want in return, name it. Firstborn, all yours. Just--I don't think I can wait, this is driving me nuts. It's like a panic attack PLUS Hermann-withdrawals--
[His voice sounds distant, as if he's pulled the phone away.] Oh fuck, it is.
[To be fair Qubit was already awake! But he's on his first cup of coffee, still, and you did just send him four messages in two minutes, so. He does listen to all four voicemails, though, when he gets them, and calls back almost immediately.]
Newt? It's Qubit. I got your message, and I'm en route. Do you know where in Germany?
[Because there may be problems if it's east of the Curtain. Not that that'd stop him from going to find Hermann, but he'd like to know what to expect.]
[Yes, yes he did send you four in two minutes. Restraint and Newt are not especially well acquainted. He would have done more. The relief in his voice rings clear.] Oh, god, yes, thank you, man.
Garmisch. Hold on. He texted me his coordinates!
[Which he now texts you.] 47.496873, 11.075778
Oh. Uh.
...If he asks, tell him I handled this like a calm and rational adult, okay?
This is a sick joke isn't it? You tell my douchey roommate that I'm tossing out all his tea if he's doing this on purpose. I'm going to have a Boston Tea Party in the bathtub! Minus the un-PC costumes.
[In German. Also, he doesn't know if Qubit speaks German and assumes only Hermann will understand this if they're still in possession of their phones.] Whoever has my two asshole friends, please keep them. No, seriously, kindly release them before I come retrieve them myself and kick your asses. I am big, burly, and I know kung fu. I make Chuck Norris cry. Come at me, bro.
minute moment tomayto tomahto still too long dude. Throw him over your shoulder and haul his ass back.
No, you know what? Since you're both probably getting fucked over by the out of bounds step anyway, we might as well all rebel and go kick around Germany a bit, go to Oktoberfest. They do that now iirc. Come on... Or let me go, Hermann and I'll kick around his hometown a while, see sights...idk. Dude, I'm bored.
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Hermann teleported himself to GERMANY and he can't get back. I didn't know what else to do-- Look, whatever you want in return, name it. Firstborn, all yours. Just--I don't think I can wait, this is driving me nuts. It's like a panic attack PLUS Hermann-withdrawals--
[His voice sounds distant, as if he's pulled the phone away.] Oh fuck, it is.
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Newt? It's Qubit. I got your message, and I'm en route. Do you know where in Germany?
[Because there may be problems if it's east of the Curtain. Not that that'd stop him from going to find Hermann, but he'd like to know what to expect.]
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Garmisch. Hold on. He texted me his coordinates!
[Which he now texts you.] 47.496873, 11.075778
Oh. Uh.
...If he asks, tell him I handled this like a calm and rational adult, okay?
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[Tak tak tak entering that in.]
I'm sure he knows. [Insert portal noise here.] Try to relax. We'll be back in a moment.
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[Hangs up for now]
1 of 12?
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Oh asnd these are all text messages if that wasn't clear
text
NEWTON, IT HAS BEEN THREE AND A HALF MINUTES.
text
text
Gottlieb's fine. We're heading back now.
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No, you know what? Since you're both probably getting fucked over by the out of bounds step anyway, we might as well all rebel and go kick around Germany a bit, go to Oktoberfest. They do that now iirc. Come on... Or let me go, Hermann and I'll kick around his hometown a while, see sights...idk. Dude, I'm bored.