[It starts off okay. Newt makes a genuine effort to NOT FREAK OUT, though he sounds frazzled and more manic than usual.] Hey! Qubit! Buddy! Hi! Pick up, man. I've got a favor to ask. Big one. Pick up, pick up. I really need you to pick up. Please be awake. Call me back asap, okay? Okay dude. Please. Like. Now. Kind of an emergency.
Okay, yeah, well, I-I get it if you're still asleep--Iiiiii probably wouldn't be up myself--but I've kind of got a BIG problem and I really need you to call me back AS SOON AS you get this message.
DUDE. PICK UP. Pick up, man, I'm KIND OF freaking out here and I really need to borrow one of your portals. I swear. Just one. Two minutes tops and then you can go RIGHT back to sleep or I'll buy you some Dunkin' or give you my kidney or something I don't care I need you to make me a portal. I will never ask for another thing as long as I live.
No, seriously, man. [Deep breath, deep breath, maybe not so deep breath and a few hysterical giggles.] I am freaking the fuck out-- Qubit...please. I need you. Please pick up. pickuppickuppickup. Hermann's-- He--
Hermann teleported himself to GERMANY and he can't get back. I didn't know what else to do-- Look, whatever you want in return, name it. Firstborn, all yours. Just--I don't think I can wait, this is driving me nuts. It's like a panic attack PLUS Hermann-withdrawals--
[His voice sounds distant, as if he's pulled the phone away.] Oh fuck, it is.
[To be fair Qubit was already awake! But he's on his first cup of coffee, still, and you did just send him four messages in two minutes, so. He does listen to all four voicemails, though, when he gets them, and calls back almost immediately.]
Newt? It's Qubit. I got your message, and I'm en route. Do you know where in Germany?
[Because there may be problems if it's east of the Curtain. Not that that'd stop him from going to find Hermann, but he'd like to know what to expect.]
[Yes, yes he did send you four in two minutes. Restraint and Newt are not especially well acquainted. He would have done more. The relief in his voice rings clear.] Oh, god, yes, thank you, man.
Garmisch. Hold on. He texted me his coordinates!
[Which he now texts you.] 47.496873, 11.075778
Oh. Uh.
...If he asks, tell him I handled this like a calm and rational adult, okay?
This is a sick joke isn't it? You tell my douchey roommate that I'm tossing out all his tea if he's doing this on purpose. I'm going to have a Boston Tea Party in the bathtub! Minus the un-PC costumes.
[In German. Also, he doesn't know if Qubit speaks German and assumes only Hermann will understand this if they're still in possession of their phones.] Whoever has my two asshole friends, please keep them. No, seriously, kindly release them before I come retrieve them myself and kick your asses. I am big, burly, and I know kung fu. I make Chuck Norris cry. Come at me, bro.
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Sept 26th - audio
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Hey! Qubit! Buddy! Hi! Pick up, man. I've got a favor to ask. Big one. Pick up, pick up. I really need you to pick up.
Please be awake. Call me back asap, okay? Okay dude. Please. Like. Now. Kind of an emergency.
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Please. Pretty please.
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Hermann teleported himself to GERMANY and he can't get back. I didn't know what else to do-- Look, whatever you want in return, name it. Firstborn, all yours. Just--I don't think I can wait, this is driving me nuts. It's like a panic attack PLUS Hermann-withdrawals--
[His voice sounds distant, as if he's pulled the phone away.] Oh fuck, it is.
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Newt? It's Qubit. I got your message, and I'm en route. Do you know where in Germany?
[Because there may be problems if it's east of the Curtain. Not that that'd stop him from going to find Hermann, but he'd like to know what to expect.]
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Garmisch. Hold on. He texted me his coordinates!
[Which he now texts you.] 47.496873, 11.075778
Oh. Uh.
...If he asks, tell him I handled this like a calm and rational adult, okay?
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[Tak tak tak entering that in.]
I'm sure he knows. [Insert portal noise here.] Try to relax. We'll be back in a moment.
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[Hangs up for now]
1 of 12?
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Oh asnd these are all text messages if that wasn't clear
text
NEWTON, IT HAS BEEN THREE AND A HALF MINUTES.
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Gottlieb's fine. We're heading back now.
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