Qubit (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
superposition) wrote2019-09-06 02:00 am
superposition) wrote2019-09-06 02:00 am
[ That gets a raised eyebrow. He's not new to unsolicited critique on his name, but this may be the first from someone who actually knows what it means. ]
Is that going to be a problem?
Is that going to be a problem?
Not in any technical sense.
[Just that she clearly can't take it seriously and is going to judge him for having a """wacky""" pseudonym. No point in spending too much time on that disdain though, at least not yet.]
I've heard you're one of the few with any degree of technological knowledge here.
[Just that she clearly can't take it seriously and is going to judge him for having a """wacky""" pseudonym. No point in spending too much time on that disdain though, at least not yet.]
I've heard you're one of the few with any degree of technological knowledge here.
[ Alright. Cool. Off to a rollicking good start. And here people say he's got a stick up his ass. Qubit keeps his irritation to himself for now, though, grasping his coat lapels. Somehow he gets the feeling there'll be more important hills for him to die on. ]
You've heard correctly. There's a handful of us, but I'm the one to talk to. You said you have some questions?
You've heard correctly. There's a handful of us, but I'm the one to talk to. You said you have some questions?
[Where to even begin... she frowns.]
Given how much of Anchor is in disrepair, I was hoping to get a more informed view of the status of the more technical facilities here. I would assume you'd know at least that much? I'm sure it's too much to hope that there's been any effort at all made towards studying the nature of the redshifts or the 'portal'.
[It's not exactly that she's baiting him. It's more like hanging on to a lingering suspicion that the 'technomancer' (and she certainly wouldn't use that word herself) has only enough knowledge to mess with gullible sorts on the network.]
Given how much of Anchor is in disrepair, I was hoping to get a more informed view of the status of the more technical facilities here. I would assume you'd know at least that much? I'm sure it's too much to hope that there's been any effort at all made towards studying the nature of the redshifts or the 'portal'.
[It's not exactly that she's baiting him. It's more like hanging on to a lingering suspicion that the 'technomancer' (and she certainly wouldn't use that word herself) has only enough knowledge to mess with gullible sorts on the network.]
Have you thoug h to investigte the other Anchor?
[Forgive his typing, Qubit. His hands are kind of shaky at the moment.]
[Forgive his typing, Qubit. His hands are kind of shaky at the moment.]
[ Huh. That's odd, usually Carlisle's not one to typo so much... ]
Been meaning to, yeah. I scouted it out briefly when it opened up, but it's tricky getting a drone past those guardians. Why do you ask?
Been meaning to, yeah. I scouted it out briefly when it opened up, but it's tricky getting a drone past those guardians. Why do you ask?
[No, wait—]
Myself.
Myself.
Edited 2021-02-28 07:42 (UTC)
[And then one more, as if it's an afterthought to that correction, and he won't be satisfied unless he makes it.]
I wouldn't be going by myself, of course.
I wouldn't be going by myself, of course.
Right, I know what you meant. I'd be happy to take you. [ That is what you meant, right? ]
Though I have to admit, I'm surprised you want to. Is everything all right?
Though I have to admit, I'm surprised you want to. Is everything all right?
I'm fine. I wanted to see what resources they have that wer could use.
[Which isn't really what Qubit asked, but Carlisle is feeling remarkably irritated with his shaking hands at the moment. He really needs to read over these messages before sending them. Why didn't he do that? Stupid hands and stupid technology and STOP SHAKING, DAMN YOU.]
[Which isn't really what Qubit asked, but Carlisle is feeling remarkably irritated with his shaking hands at the moment. He really needs to read over these messages before sending them. Why didn't he do that? Stupid hands and stupid technology and STOP SHAKING, DAMN YOU.]
[ Hm. Sure, but he needs to check it out personally? Something's not adding up. ]
Come on, Carlisle. Talk to me.
Come on, Carlisle. Talk to me.
[He starts typing a reply, but gets so frustrated that he tosses his phone. It takes him a moment to find it again, and then he's mad at himself for having not be forthright in the first place. Why is he trying to talk around what he assumes is the problem? Isn't Qubit the one he trusts the most with this?
He pulls in a deep breath before calling back.]
I think I need to sleep.
[Sleep sleep. He wasn't thrilled with the idea when he told Qubit what happened with Ami and Pratt, and he's clearly not thrilled about the idea now, but...]
He pulls in a deep breath before calling back.]
I think I need to sleep.
[Sleep sleep. He wasn't thrilled with the idea when he told Qubit what happened with Ami and Pratt, and he's clearly not thrilled about the idea now, but...]
Edited 2021-03-01 04:27 (UTC)
... I see.
[ Well, that explains a lot.
They've discussed this idea before, a couple of times. Carlisle first floated it after a close call a while back in which, low on energy, he'd partially reverted and turned against the nearest living being - which, at that moment, happened to be Ami. She'd been very lucky to get away unharmed.
So far there hasn't been a repeat of that incident, but Carlisle does still need to take in energy to survive, even if only infrequently. But there's a lot they haven't been able to pin down about the process. Where does "life energy" come from? Is it something the living produce or consume? When they say it sustains Carlisle, what does that actually mean? Qubit's tried to think outside the box, but it's hard to brainstorm solutions when they can't even express what the problem is (beyond "I dunno, magic").
Nevertheless, Carlisle had came up with something potentially workable. He'd simply let it happen in his sleep, knock himself out to reduce the danger to others in the meantime. Being undead, he can't fall asleep by natural means, but it turns out his tea-vapor trick and some paw plant does the trick - with the significant drawback that he can't wake up on his own, either. But that's where Qubit comes in. ]
How bad is it? [ How much time do they have to set up? ]
[ Well, that explains a lot.
They've discussed this idea before, a couple of times. Carlisle first floated it after a close call a while back in which, low on energy, he'd partially reverted and turned against the nearest living being - which, at that moment, happened to be Ami. She'd been very lucky to get away unharmed.
So far there hasn't been a repeat of that incident, but Carlisle does still need to take in energy to survive, even if only infrequently. But there's a lot they haven't been able to pin down about the process. Where does "life energy" come from? Is it something the living produce or consume? When they say it sustains Carlisle, what does that actually mean? Qubit's tried to think outside the box, but it's hard to brainstorm solutions when they can't even express what the problem is (beyond "I dunno, magic").
Nevertheless, Carlisle had came up with something potentially workable. He'd simply let it happen in his sleep, knock himself out to reduce the danger to others in the meantime. Being undead, he can't fall asleep by natural means, but it turns out his tea-vapor trick and some paw plant does the trick - with the significant drawback that he can't wake up on his own, either. But that's where Qubit comes in. ]
How bad is it? [ How much time do they have to set up? ]
I don't know.
[He's frustrated by that, too; it manifests as a rumble in his throat.]
I feel exhausted. I'm always exhausted, but this is different.
[There's the audible crunch of a leaf being stepped on. It seems he felt bad enough that he's already meandering toward the spot he picked out: a nook in the wooded area of the Agricultural Zone that's thick with deciduous trees, and hopefully far enough away from the barn that the animals will be undisturbed.
He's more concerned someone else will find him out there, and that the worst will befall them. Fortunate as it was that Ami was unharmed last time it happened, Carlisle isn't sure his luck will hold out.]
I thought- that if I focused on something else, my head would eventually clear. What if- what if there aren't enough people here anymore? What if this doesn't work? I left you a broom near the edge of the woods. What if it isn't long enough?
[He's frustrated by that, too; it manifests as a rumble in his throat.]
I feel exhausted. I'm always exhausted, but this is different.
[There's the audible crunch of a leaf being stepped on. It seems he felt bad enough that he's already meandering toward the spot he picked out: a nook in the wooded area of the Agricultural Zone that's thick with deciduous trees, and hopefully far enough away from the barn that the animals will be undisturbed.
He's more concerned someone else will find him out there, and that the worst will befall them. Fortunate as it was that Ami was unharmed last time it happened, Carlisle isn't sure his luck will hold out.]
I thought- that if I focused on something else, my head would eventually clear. What if- what if there aren't enough people here anymore? What if this doesn't work? I left you a broom near the edge of the woods. What if it isn't long enough?
Edited 2021-03-01 07:15 (UTC)
[ Sooo... pretty bad, then. Qubit gets up himself, pocketing a few things he might need. ]
You let me worry about that. Just get yourself situated for now, I'm on my way.
You let me worry about that. Just get yourself situated for now, I'm on my way.
You... won't get too close, will you?
[Was that genuine worry in his voice? Yeah, that was genuine worry.]
[Was that genuine worry in his voice? Yeah, that was genuine worry.]
[ Well hey, he'll take that genuine worry and raise you some genuine reassurance. ]
I'll be careful. See you in a moment.
I'll be careful. See you in a moment.
[Despite his usual pessimism regarding absolutely everything he's involved in, Carlisle finds himself pleasantly comforted by Qubit's reassurance, enough so that has to fight the grin that tugs at the corner of his mouth. Qubit has his utmost trust in this matter; he won't let him down. It will be fine.]
In a moment, then.
[And with that, Carlisle hangs up. He continues walking until he reaches his destination, attempting to cling to that reassurance, but it fails him soon enough. Try as he might to not fixate on the details of what could happen should their plan go wrong, he still finds himself thinking of the greying grasses and twisted trees of Bear Den. He cannot help but see them when he recalls waking last time, coming to his senses to find the area all around him as withered and decayed as his home; the dead patch in the woods near the barn stands as a testament to how destructive his abilities can be, and how close he was to losing himself to them.
If only it had vanished, like the swamp and the men who attacked Kieran. That wouldn't change what he did, though.
He pushes his glasses up, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. Why is he like this? Why does he have to be like this? Aren't there others more deserving of such a miserable existence? Why is that anyone puts up with him when he can't do anything right? When his mere presence is a terrible threat to everyone who inhabits the colony?
Pulling in a deep breath, Carlisle tries to curb those thoughts once more. Qubit's statement about the other Carlisle comes to mind. I supposed some must value you quite a lot, he tells himself. You are unwell. This... is your nature as an aberration. Do what you have to — focus on that, and Qubit will handle the rest.
With one more breath, he kneels within the copse, working on his preparations one step at a time: he sets his sleeping stone on the ground, then the page with the proper glyph for his tea, along with his mug. From his pocket, he retrieves the tiny jar with the paw plant clippings. Into the mug those go, along with conjured water. Mug onto the glyph, then—
Carlisle hesitates, his hand trembling above the activation point. It'd be safer to put himself to sleep now, but Qubit wanted to observe — and Carlisle wants him to observe, just in case something goes wrong immediately.
And what of it does? What if it's not the slower reaction they're hoping for, but is quick, jagged, merciless like the black lines of corrosion he expelled when healing Kieran? They cut across the grass toward the trees, draining the energy from them in an effort to stabilize him. They could have drawn from any one of the people around him: it could have been from Pratt, or Ben, or Kieran himself. It could have been Ami. It could be Qubit this time.]
You're not well.
[He insists that aloud, as though it'd be more convincing. His fears continue to prey on his mind as he takes a seat in the grass, hearing it crunch unpleasantly beneath him; it is already dried and withering.]
In a moment, then.
[And with that, Carlisle hangs up. He continues walking until he reaches his destination, attempting to cling to that reassurance, but it fails him soon enough. Try as he might to not fixate on the details of what could happen should their plan go wrong, he still finds himself thinking of the greying grasses and twisted trees of Bear Den. He cannot help but see them when he recalls waking last time, coming to his senses to find the area all around him as withered and decayed as his home; the dead patch in the woods near the barn stands as a testament to how destructive his abilities can be, and how close he was to losing himself to them.
If only it had vanished, like the swamp and the men who attacked Kieran. That wouldn't change what he did, though.
He pushes his glasses up, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. Why is he like this? Why does he have to be like this? Aren't there others more deserving of such a miserable existence? Why is that anyone puts up with him when he can't do anything right? When his mere presence is a terrible threat to everyone who inhabits the colony?
Pulling in a deep breath, Carlisle tries to curb those thoughts once more. Qubit's statement about the other Carlisle comes to mind. I supposed some must value you quite a lot, he tells himself. You are unwell. This... is your nature as an aberration. Do what you have to — focus on that, and Qubit will handle the rest.
With one more breath, he kneels within the copse, working on his preparations one step at a time: he sets his sleeping stone on the ground, then the page with the proper glyph for his tea, along with his mug. From his pocket, he retrieves the tiny jar with the paw plant clippings. Into the mug those go, along with conjured water. Mug onto the glyph, then—
Carlisle hesitates, his hand trembling above the activation point. It'd be safer to put himself to sleep now, but Qubit wanted to observe — and Carlisle wants him to observe, just in case something goes wrong immediately.
And what of it does? What if it's not the slower reaction they're hoping for, but is quick, jagged, merciless like the black lines of corrosion he expelled when healing Kieran? They cut across the grass toward the trees, draining the energy from them in an effort to stabilize him. They could have drawn from any one of the people around him: it could have been from Pratt, or Ben, or Kieran himself. It could have been Ami. It could be Qubit this time.]
You're not well.
[He insists that aloud, as though it'd be more convincing. His fears continue to prey on his mind as he takes a seat in the grass, hearing it crunch unpleasantly beneath him; it is already dried and withering.]
Edited 2021-03-09 07:53 (UTC)
[ Qubit may have sounded perfectly calm on the phone, but the second the call ends, he books it. Carlisle's been having trouble for days, he knew that. He's been getting progressively shakier, the light behind his eyes more piercing, and he's been flying off the handle over nothing a lot more than usual.
It didn't take long to make the connection. After all, he's seen Carlisle like this once before - shortly before the incident with Ami.
He can't help feeling a bit annoyed. Don't get him wrong - he's not annoyed about having to help, or even about the behavior itself. But they both knew Carlisle couldn't put off dealing with this forever. When Qubit had confronted him yesterday, tried to put his foot down - granted, "before someone gets hurt" was not the best way he could have worded it, but still, Carlisle had about bit his head off, and he'd had to back down. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Why...
... No, that's not it at all, is it.
The doors of the lift close behind him, and Qubit takes a second to collect himself while it rises. He's only upset because he's worried. This plan might be the best they have, but it's still risky. After all, they've never intentionally allowed him to revert before, even while unconscious. Thus far, he's always managed to recover when he's slipped - but there's still so much they don't understand about the process, about how his body and his energies work in general. What if this is the one time he doesn't come back?
He lets out a deep breath, and the doors slide open. Cross that bridge if we come to it. And only if. He's not Carlisle's handler, and at some point he has to trust the man's judgment.
He reaches the A.Z. within a couple minutes, bypassing the farm to proceed straight to their agreed-upon location. Carlisle's already there, seated among the trees. Erring on the side of caution, Qubit stops outside the grove, already digging components out of his coat pocket. ]
I'm here. How are you holding up?
[ A quick burst of blue light, and voila, it's a camera on a telescoping pole. ]
It didn't take long to make the connection. After all, he's seen Carlisle like this once before - shortly before the incident with Ami.
He can't help feeling a bit annoyed. Don't get him wrong - he's not annoyed about having to help, or even about the behavior itself. But they both knew Carlisle couldn't put off dealing with this forever. When Qubit had confronted him yesterday, tried to put his foot down - granted, "before someone gets hurt" was not the best way he could have worded it, but still, Carlisle had about bit his head off, and he'd had to back down. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Why...
... No, that's not it at all, is it.
The doors of the lift close behind him, and Qubit takes a second to collect himself while it rises. He's only upset because he's worried. This plan might be the best they have, but it's still risky. After all, they've never intentionally allowed him to revert before, even while unconscious. Thus far, he's always managed to recover when he's slipped - but there's still so much they don't understand about the process, about how his body and his energies work in general. What if this is the one time he doesn't come back?
He lets out a deep breath, and the doors slide open. Cross that bridge if we come to it. And only if. He's not Carlisle's handler, and at some point he has to trust the man's judgment.
He reaches the A.Z. within a couple minutes, bypassing the farm to proceed straight to their agreed-upon location. Carlisle's already there, seated among the trees. Erring on the side of caution, Qubit stops outside the grove, already digging components out of his coat pocket. ]
I'm here. How are you holding up?
[ A quick burst of blue light, and voila, it's a camera on a telescoping pole. ]
Poorly.
[It's a good thing Qubit got there in record time. Carlisle barely even looks Qubit's way as he technomances some kind of contraption into being just on his periphery; his gaze is instead affixed ahead of him, locked on a specific wrinkle in the bark of a tree on the other side of the clearing as though it were the cause of all his problems. It's not, obviously, but he finds staying focused on something — anything — other than himself helps.
Unfortunately, it's much harder not to think about himself and all the consequences of being himself entails now that Qubit is here. A sigh rattles its way out of his chest as a dozen questions run through his head, including:
What if this doesn't work?
Much like Carlisle wouldn't hear talk of Qubit's memory not returning, Qubit won't have any of that. It's out of the question, as far as he's concerned. It will work, or they will find a way to make it work.
What if it gets worse over time?
They will deal with it. The nebulous how still bothers him.
Would it not be better for him to simply leave Anchor? Why does he let his cowardice keep him there? What reason has he to remain and put everyone else in mortal peril just so he can exist?
He knows the answer to that, and would prefer not to think about it. It makes him feel like he has more in common with the other Carlisle than he'd like.
Instead of pondering any further, he draws his legs up to him, making himself as small and unobtrusive as possible, his head on his knees. The grass continues to crunch unpleasantly as his boots scrape against the ground.]
Wh- what's that do, again?
[He means the device Qubit has set up. It was a part of their plan, but he needs something else to focus on until they're ready, and admittedly, he finds Qubit's voice to be comforting.]
[It's a good thing Qubit got there in record time. Carlisle barely even looks Qubit's way as he technomances some kind of contraption into being just on his periphery; his gaze is instead affixed ahead of him, locked on a specific wrinkle in the bark of a tree on the other side of the clearing as though it were the cause of all his problems. It's not, obviously, but he finds staying focused on something — anything — other than himself helps.
Unfortunately, it's much harder not to think about himself and all the consequences of being himself entails now that Qubit is here. A sigh rattles its way out of his chest as a dozen questions run through his head, including:
What if this doesn't work?
Much like Carlisle wouldn't hear talk of Qubit's memory not returning, Qubit won't have any of that. It's out of the question, as far as he's concerned. It will work, or they will find a way to make it work.
What if it gets worse over time?
They will deal with it. The nebulous how still bothers him.
Would it not be better for him to simply leave Anchor? Why does he let his cowardice keep him there? What reason has he to remain and put everyone else in mortal peril just so he can exist?
He knows the answer to that, and would prefer not to think about it. It makes him feel like he has more in common with the other Carlisle than he'd like.
Instead of pondering any further, he draws his legs up to him, making himself as small and unobtrusive as possible, his head on his knees. The grass continues to crunch unpleasantly as his boots scrape against the ground.]
Wh- what's that do, again?
[He means the device Qubit has set up. It was a part of their plan, but he needs something else to focus on until they're ready, and admittedly, he finds Qubit's voice to be comforting.]
Edited 2021-03-11 03:01 (UTC)
Broad-spectrum imaging. [ His voice matches his pace, brisk and businesslike, as he drives the pole into the soil. They did discuss this before, but it doesn't hurt to go over it again. ] The cameras can "see" wavelengths invisible to the human eye - infrared, ultraviolet, x-ray. Even if we can't observe the flow of eksth'alva directly, we can still quantify its effects.
[ Temperature's the big one, obviously, with the rest included for completeness. He's still not sure the x-ray will provide enough relevant info to justify its inclusion, but ... this is really a survey more than anything, and Carlisle did agree to it. ]
[ Temperature's the big one, obviously, with the rest included for completeness. He's still not sure the x-ray will provide enough relevant info to justify its inclusion, but ... this is really a survey more than anything, and Carlisle did agree to it. ]
Right. Good. That's good.
[He pulls in another deep breath. He feels better, honestly. Maybe they can put this off. Maybe—
No no, no thinking like that. Qubit already chastised him once for delaying the inevitable. He frees one hand from around him and adjusts the tea on the glyph. His entire arm is trembling, and he fights the urge to gnaw his lip. Doesn't have much of it left, after all.]
I don't like this.
[He pulls in another deep breath. He feels better, honestly. Maybe they can put this off. Maybe—
No no, no thinking like that. Qubit already chastised him once for delaying the inevitable. He frees one hand from around him and adjusts the tea on the glyph. His entire arm is trembling, and he fights the urge to gnaw his lip. Doesn't have much of it left, after all.]
I don't like this.
[ Qubit pauses, then glances up, and... he's struck by how small Carlisle looks. Of course he's no bodybuilder at the best of times, but the way he's sitting, curled in on himself like that... He's frightened, vulnerable. Suffering. And for a second, Qubit wants nothing more than to go to him - pat him on the shoulder, assure him it's going to be all right -
- but that's not the best idea right now, as the withering grass reminds him. He does still need both his hands. ]
... I know. [ - he replies, more gently. ]
- but that's not the best idea right now, as the withering grass reminds him. He does still need both his hands. ]
... I know. [ - he replies, more gently. ]
[Carlisle's apparently not done, his voice croaking its way out of him once again, his shaking hands more animated as he tries to gesticulate his overwhelming anxiety.]
I don't like this, and I don't like you being here for this. [His tone sounds harsh as it comes out, grating in his throat in a way he finds distinctly uncomfortable.] I know that- I know I ought not do this on my own, and I trust no one else with this endeavor, but I don't— I don't...
[He shakes his head, unable to figure out exactly what he's trying to say. It must be his nerves drowning out rational thought, he assumes — or worse, his mind failing him as a precursor of the worst case scenario. Qubit is right: he's utterly terrified, and he's not sure any outcome of the day's experiment will grant him solace. If it works, it means he'll have to do this again and again, draining the life out of the plants of Anchor periodically in the hopes he doesn't turn on the people. It's necromancy, abhorrent and repugnant and absolutely vile in the eyes of his goddess, further proof of his monstrous nature. He is a creature, not a man; he cannot forget that.
And if it doesn't work, well... they'll have more catastrophic problems to deal with. Correction: Qubit will have to deal with them, as Carlisle expects he will no longer exist in any capacity. He shifts in his spot, feeling the physical distance between them, and in that moment, Qubit might as well be across the colony. At least he'd be safer there.
He sighs one more time.]
Forgive me. I am unwell. I know this is for the best, but I cannot help but feel we are making a mistake.
I don't like this, and I don't like you being here for this. [His tone sounds harsh as it comes out, grating in his throat in a way he finds distinctly uncomfortable.] I know that- I know I ought not do this on my own, and I trust no one else with this endeavor, but I don't— I don't...
[He shakes his head, unable to figure out exactly what he's trying to say. It must be his nerves drowning out rational thought, he assumes — or worse, his mind failing him as a precursor of the worst case scenario. Qubit is right: he's utterly terrified, and he's not sure any outcome of the day's experiment will grant him solace. If it works, it means he'll have to do this again and again, draining the life out of the plants of Anchor periodically in the hopes he doesn't turn on the people. It's necromancy, abhorrent and repugnant and absolutely vile in the eyes of his goddess, further proof of his monstrous nature. He is a creature, not a man; he cannot forget that.
And if it doesn't work, well... they'll have more catastrophic problems to deal with. Correction: Qubit will have to deal with them, as Carlisle expects he will no longer exist in any capacity. He shifts in his spot, feeling the physical distance between them, and in that moment, Qubit might as well be across the colony. At least he'd be safer there.
He sighs one more time.]
Forgive me. I am unwell. I know this is for the best, but I cannot help but feel we are making a mistake.
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